How Well Do You Know Your Child?
Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her challenges, to appreciate his/her strengths and weaknesses and to help him/her develop his talents. Knowing your children can help increase their chance for success in the future and improve your relationship.
As parents, we are constantly looking for ways to improve out relationship with our children, discipline our children and provide proper guidance. How many of us take the time to get to really know our child? Some of us believe that our children are extensions of us and don't have their own thoughts, dreams and goals. When was the last time you sat down with your child to find out what they are thinking? The answers may surprise you. Children, especially during puberty, start to discover and develop their identity. They go through an emotional and psychological identity crisis and question and challenge their parents. At this point, children start to crave support and direction from their parents, but are not always compelled to ask for it. But how can you help your child, if you do not know their needs? Simple, ask them!
You are not a mind reader and your child probably will not voluntarily share his/her personal information with you. When you start to offer unsolicited advice, they feel that you are being intrusive or nosy and get defensive.
There are two simple steps to getting to know your child.
The first step is to listen more and speak less. Let your child direct the conversation and when they ask for your advice, offer it without being judgmental or critical. Lecturing and berating your child for poor judgment or unhealthy decisions will not help you to understand him/her more because you will not be getting to the core reason for the behavior. If you do not have the proper information, how can you give your child the support that he/she needs? By listening, you will be able to help your child understand how their choices and decisions affect their lives and direct them to making healthier and more responsible decisions. By being an active listener, you learn to acknowledge what your child is feeling and give your child the information and advice that he/she needs.
The second step is to ask the questions that will create meaningful conversation. The typical responses to "How was your day?" are "Good" or "Fine." Ask open ended questions instead of closed ended questions that result in one word responses. Ask specific rather than general questions that will stimulate your child to think. Show your child that you have a genuine interest in what is going on in his/her life. Don't force this process, let it come naturally and soon your child will respond. Ask casually and soon your child will start to volunteer the information. Find out who influences your child. Even ask tough questions such as, "How do you feel about our family?" The point is not to judge your child's responses, but to know what he/she is thinking or how he/she is feeling. Ask your child if he/she has any resolutions for this year. What was his/her biggest challenge or setback last year? Ask the questions without interrogating. Don't bombard them with questions or you may face resistance. Resolve today to spend a few minutes each day getting to know your child better. This is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your child.
Recommended Further Reading:
Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with parents to help them unlock and nurture the personal and academic potential in their children and motivate their children to success.
You can find her on the web at http://www.successfulchild.com.
Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that will, in fact, last throughout your child's lifetime is the choice of your baby's name. (Unlike, for example, your choice of stroller or whether to use Lamaze or hypnosis to ease labor pains.
Parental Involvement in Learning
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when parents become involved in their education. According to the National Institute for Literacy, when parents or other family members frequently read to children entering kindergarten, those children were at a distinct advantage over children whose families read to them less often.
Really Good News About Your Children's Video Games
Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green and Daphne Bavelier has grabbed national attention for suggesting that playing "action" video and computer games has positive effects - enhancing student's visual selective attention.
Sharing Books with Children
One of my first memories of childhood is that of my mother reading Dr. Seuss books to me in a big brown recliner in our living room.
Defrazzle with a Hearty Guffaw
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul."Linda KnightWe all know the old adage that "Laugher is the best medicine" - but what does that mean, actually?Well, research has shown that laughing can help in:* Lowering blood pressure* Reducing stress hormones* Increasing muscle flexibility* Boosting immune function* Triggering the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers* Producing a general sense of well-being.
More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are so busy playing they sometimes 'forget' to drink.
6 Tried & True Fun Ways to Educate and Entertain Your Preschooler
1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a new word each morning at breakfast and define it for him.
Tracking Your Child Progress
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your child's learning and watch for signs of possible problems. Here are some things to look for and to discuss with his teacher:Starting at age 3 or 4:Does your child remember nursery rhymes, and can he play rhyming games?At about age 4: Can your child get information or directions from conversations or books that are read aloud to him? Kindergartners:Is your child beginning to name and write the letters and numbers that he sees in books, on billboards and signs, and in other places?At age 5:Can your child play and enjoy simple word games in which two or more words start with the same sound? For example: "Name all the animals you can think of that start with d.
Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but so many people do not follow these simple car seat safety principles. By following these easy steps you can ensure your child is completely safe in your car.
How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant medication, such as Ritalin and Dexedrine in their various forms, in treating the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders in children, teens, and adults. Even though stimulants are not the only effective option in the treatment of the disorder, stimulants may be a good choice, and their use should be discussed with your physician.
Stop Lying NOW
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying to you, even though he or she is normally a "good" child? Sometimes the lies are even about things that don't really matter or your child continues to lie in the face of overwhelming proof to the contrary?It is my firm belief that we will not end lying behavior in our children until we take away the consequences for telling the truth. This is a concept explored in greater detail within Nancy Buck's book, Peaceful Parenting®.
How to Raise Creative Kids
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze us with their imaginative ideas, and we should give ourselves a pat on the back for playing a role in this development. Innovative thinking is essential for success in school and in life, and it's our job as parents to nurture our kids' innate desire to be creative.
Give Your Child Life Skills for a Lifetime
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on the fast track to success, and one such solution is not usually far from home. It is your local martial arts school.
The Truth About Motherhood
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when I was pregnant, experienced mothers could not stop giving me advice on taking care of newborns, delivery expectations and child care solutions. Yet, no mother ever told me how dreadful post partum depression could be, how much my world would change, how one person can bring so much to my life.
Back to School; Time to Recharge
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers, and notebooks fill my daughter's back pack.
How To Teach Your Children Self-Reliance and Potential
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd highly recommend parents teach their children.Self-reliance refer to the acceptance of responsibility for and the consequence of one's own actions and performance.
Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents believe their children should be doing something more productive than merely having fun.
Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids
There are millions of young children in this country who are being terribly mistreated by their parents.These parents aren't physically abusing their young children, and they may not even know that they're mistreating them.
Top 50 Father Quotations
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad! "-- Anonymous"Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching."-- Assyrian clay tablet 2800 B.
A New School Year
Depending on where you live school will be starting this month or next month. A new school year is usually exciting and scary at the same time.
|home | site map|