6 Signs You're A High Maintenance Parent
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering college in increasing numbers. Getting into the best schools is increasingly competitive. Having good grades, a great SAT score and participating in extracurricular activities is no assurance that your student will get into the school of their choice.
Because of that phenomenon, parents are taking a much more active role in their children's college admission process. But for some parents, participation in their child's college search has led to a troubling development that college admissions officers are seeing more frequently.
It is the High Maintenance Parent (HMP). And college admissions officers are reporting it more and more. If you answer yes to any of these six questions, you may be a High Maintenance Parent.
1. Does your child barely know what's on their college application but you can quote every word in their personal essay (because you wrote it)?
Students who don't take an active role in their college planning and admission process tend not to be successful in college. Students need to take ownership of the process because it's their future on the line. It's time to cut the umbilical cord and let little Johnny fail or succeed. In the end it's a disservice to your child if you do the work for him.
2. Is the admissions officer at the school of your choice on your speed dial and recognizes your voice or phone number when you call?
You want your child to be memorable, not you. Don't be a pest. It can count against your child.
3. Are you asking (or telling) your child to apply to schools that they are not interested in just so YOU can brag that they got into Harvard, Stanford, etc?
It's hard enough for your child to do everything necessary to apply to college without the added stress of completing applications for schools they don't want to go to. This is not the time to relive your past or try to out-Jones the Joneses'.
4. Is your "back-up" strategy for financial aid to tell the financial aid officer that your child is so smart, talented, etc that they should pay you to LET your child attend XYZ University?
By knowing your expected family contribution before applying, you save yourself from the potential surprise of getting an award letter with less aid then you were expecting. And make sure you research the college's financial aid policy to know if you have a circumstance that would cause the school to revisit your award letter.
5. Have you talked to your attorney about suing your child's high school because she did not get the special attention she needed in high school, and thus, will not be able to attend the university of her choice?
Be an active parent throughout your child's education, don't start in her senior year as she applies to colleges. The reality is, at that point it's too late. If she needs special attention in high school make sure she gets it.
6. Have you asked the guidance counselor at the high school to purge evidence of cheating, truancy or other discipline problems from your child's record in order to increase their chance of getting into the college of their choice? If so, you are DEFINITELY a High Maintenance Parent!
You put your child and all other students applying from that high school at risk by asking guidance counselors to lie by omission. If admissions personnel find that student records are being sanitized, they can refuse to admit anyone from a particular high school.
College admissions is a competitive process with each party looking to get the best result. Admissions officers are responsible for admitting a diverse student body. They want students that will reflect the values of the institution and who will be a positive contribution to the student body. Now, while they are still in your house, is the time to impart those values and position your child to be an asset to the student body.
Balanced against the school's needs is the student's desire to be admitted. The best way for you to help your child is by being an advocate and mentor, but realize, ultimately the decision and experience of college will be up to your child.
Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved.
Felicia Caldwell Gopaul, CFP, CCPS specializes in late-stage college funding planning utilizing unique tax, financial and academic strategies that can dramatically lower college costs and still enable parents to save for retirement and other financial priorities.
If you are confused or overwhelmed by the college planning process and want more information on how to get started, call (201) 453-9875 or visit www.CollegeFundingResource.com
Lets Protect Our Children
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep your children from accessing undesirable websites. There are two good ones, Cyber Patrol and Net Nanny.
Couch Potatoes Beware!
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight children are generally quite poor. And this is only exacerbated by the teasing and ridicule of their peers - a situation that, in these post-Columbine days, can result in much more than hurt feelings.
Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask "What's wrong?".
How To Potty Train In Two Days
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you will find dozens of books on the subject. Search the Net and there are thousands of websites with information on how to do it stress free.
Don't Make Fast and Furious Food Changes
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when you say, my children won't eat healthy foods. If we even say the word, they tune out and already decide they don't like it.
Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of "magic" as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout most of the different religions.
How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games -- A Guide for Parents and Teachers
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games their kids play are teaching the kids "negative" messages such as aggression, violence, and isolation from real people. I want to illustrate here how computer and video game playing, can have positive effects on kids.
How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around us, due to intolerance, and many of us blame it on somebody else. Parents teach their children, all the time, and when one of us displays "road rage," while our child is in the car, we teach a brand new skill set.
Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First
Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was able to count to ten? A geometry text when he began to recognize shapes? War and Peace as soon as she could recite her ABCs? Of course not! Not only is it preposterous to have such expectations of a child, but also it sets up the child for failure - and, most likely, a dread of and distaste for calculus, geometry, and reading.Yet all too many children are enrolled in gymnastics, karate, dance classes, and organized sports before they've mastered such basic movements as bending and stretching, walking with correct posture, and bouncing and catching a ball.
For School Success, Dont Coddle Your Kids
Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes their best intentions are misguided.
Helping Your Teen Get Back to School With Clear Skin
Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check.
When you think about it, probably the one thing that our children need most in order to grow up feeling loved, happy, and empowered enough to give of themselves to others is our commitment to them as parents. Our children must know that we have made a commitment to them and we must demonstrate that commitment constantly.
Who Wants To Date Their Mother?
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on TV last year called "Who Wants To Marry Our Dad?" Well, my life is starting to sound very very similar lately. All you have to do is listen to my kids for a day, and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.
Children are People, Not Machines
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay attention to the details." That saying became very real to me in the area of parenting.
6 Great Freebie Resources for Parents of Twins & Multiple Births
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is to give birth to twins! You'll have twice the smiles, goos & coos, giggles, and firsts (first words, first steps, first burps?.) But for many soon-to-be parents of twins, once the excitement wears off, the math sets in?.
Career Education: Does Not Mean the 6 Year College Plan
Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average college student takes 5.3 years to earn a 4-year Bachelor's degree.
What is Incest?
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between family members who aren't married to one another. State laws vary regarding the type of sexual activity and also on what constitutes the type of kinship that indicates incest rather than just sexual abuse.
Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent child and replaced them with a monster? Are you confused that somehow you have gone from knowing everything as a parent, to knowing absolutely nothing? Welcome to being a parent of a preteen/teenager. It is a brave new world.
Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World
Finding out that a child has been born with a disability, or that a previously healthy child has suffered an injury or disease that causes a disability can be the most traumatic moment in a parent's life. Shock is usually the first thing people experience.
Keep the Little Ones Safe, Follow Pool Safety Guidelines
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent out there. If you are lucky enough to own an above ground pool or inground pool, you know there are certain safety precautions you must take to protect your children and the children of your friends and neighbors.
|home | site map|