Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends
One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age is isolation and loneliness. In order to build and maintain relationships there are a number of simple skills, which can be learned, to enhance the opportunity to find and keep friends.
All likeable people behave in certain ways. They literally have a "magnetic" personality drawing others to them. The advantages of being likeable are numerous, including higher grades and income, self-esteem, better health, longer life and happiness and well-being. Here are the five tricks you or your child can do today to increase likeability.
1. Be helpful. Studies show that "helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute" with being well liked, says Haara Estroff Marno, author of Why Doesn't Anyone Like Me? Be aware of opportunities to help on a big scale, such as volunteering for projects and assisting others. Give service and teach your child to look for small ways to help others on a daily basis.
2. Liking who you are. When people feel good about themselves, they are more content and less likely to personalize every situation and comment. Develop a skill or hobby that makes you feel good and that brings joy, you don't have to be perfect at it. Just enjoying an activity and doing reasonably well will boost anyone's self-esteem. Make it a habit to end every night on a positive. Either in a journal or verbally list five things you are grateful for or that you have succeeded at in the day. Develop an attitude of gratitude.
Focus on the positive and celebrate and acknowledge your successes.
3. Say hello first. Friendly people put others at ease. Many people are hesitant to say hello because they fear rejection. But think about it, have you ever gotten mad at someone who says hello to you? Even if people don't return the greeting, they may just be pre-occupied. There is an unofficial rule about customer service that can apply to life as well; smile if someone comes within 10 feet of you, greet with a word or nod anyone within 3 feet of you. Smile with your mouth and your eyes. People who smile are perceived as friendly and approachable. A smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you." To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.
4. Be aware of the message your appearance says about you. Whether we like it or not, people are judged by they way they look and act. If they look enough like everyone else, they will be more acceptable. If they stick out, they risk not fitting in. Those who develop their own unique style of dress must have the moxie and confidence to carry it off. Then it is an attribute. Your appearance, table manners, tone of voice and respect of space sends an instant message before you have a chance to explain who you are and to build a relationship.
5. Recognize the power of body language. Verbal language is the language of information and is only recognized and remembered 20%. Non-verbal or body language is the language of relationships and is acknowledged and remembered 80%. If your body is not responding according to your message, no one will hear or believe what you say. Practice and role-play so that your facial expressions, posture and hand movements are in accordance with the message you want to share with others.
We like someone because, we love someone although. So give people a number of reasons to like you.
© 2004 Judy H. Wright, Personal Historian, Parent Educator and Author - www.artichokepress.com
This handout has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at www.ArtichokePress.com. To contact us, please write email@example.com or call 406-549-9813.
Talk Your Child Clever
Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say its first word. This usually happens between the nine months and a year.
Cooking With Your Kids Helps Develop Motor Skills for Preschoolers
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a natural way for them to develop motor skills? If you've never looked at cooking that way before, think again. There's a reason why kids have a universal love for cooking - just like for stacking blocks and banging!Cooking is especially good for preschoolers and here's how:1.
What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?
We adopted our first child when he was three months old. When we went to the agency to get him, he promptly stood up on my wife's lap and looked out the window.
Developing a Fantastic Relationship with Your Child
Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy playing child and shower him with excited hugs and kisses without warning." What's wrong with this picture?I would say that, simply, the parent is not in synch with the child in the case described above.
Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active. The two go hand in hand.
Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing children.Recently there has emerged another type of parenting that, whilst never as harmful as underparenting, can be detrimental to children's healthy development- that is, the trend by many of the current generation of parents to overparent their children.
Watch What You Say
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get any ideas either, Terry.
Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality and attending our local high school, the next his unsuspecting parents are identifying him in a local morgue.
Social Engineering via Robotic Toddlers
Is there a way to build a robot to help toddlers and pre-schoolers learn proper social behavior without the parents intervention? A robotic friend so to speak; one, which will play with the child and explore colors and shapes. Perhaps build legos? Now before you say I am wacked, let's discuss this.
Break Free From Power Struggles
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the party. She wants to wear jeans.
The Most Powerful Question a Parent Can Ask?
The question I have for you drives right to the heart of the matter. It could alter that tired, haggard feeling you have at the end of a day or weekend.
Our Recommended Eating Program for ADHD
Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention Deficit Disorder - ADD ADHD kids. It is not a very strict program, unless you are used to having most meals at your local fast food restaurant.
How to Raise Creative Kids
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze us with their imaginative ideas, and we should give ourselves a pat on the back for playing a role in this development. Innovative thinking is essential for success in school and in life, and it's our job as parents to nurture our kids' innate desire to be creative.
Sibling Fighting - Reduce Sibling Rivalry by NOT Keeping Score
Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon turned into a disaster. There were smiles all round as we hit off from the first tee but the enjoyment factor was reduced to zero as my children's smiles were replaced by tears, put downs and whining.
Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing
You have just received a call from your child's teacher explaining that she has noticed your child having difficulty in school. Your child is not understanding math or reading the way the other children do.
The Mystery of Picky Eaters
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think their children are picky eaters, chances are you would get 90 different answers. Although we know some children are picky eaters for no apparent reason, most are hard to please when it comes to food for two reasons - they are naturally fussy about tastes and textures or they have a learned behavior about food.
Grandparents --- Homeschool Your Grandchildren and Feel Younger
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown children than to advise them about important issues like the dangers of public schools for your grandchildren? What better way to feel younger if you offer to help homeschool your grandchildren?When your children grow up and get careers of their own, that doesn't mean you have to be lonely in a big, empty house and lose contact with your kids. Helping to homeschool your grandchildren can be a wonderful way for you to stay in close and loving contact with your grown children and grandchildren.
Nurtured by Love or Matured by Nature?
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9. This is certainly true of the nature-nurture debate, the modern name for the ageless argument about the importance of learning in the development of the child.
Boundaries - Why Theyre Needed
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life, has noself-control, and lacks respect for others. If these were the qualities ofyour son, how would you feel for his future wives? Yes, wives is plural, this is one major reason we need to set boundariesfor our children their future.
ADHD Treatment: Strategy and Philosophy
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder during the summer, or winter months, and if your child or teen is not a danger to himself or to someone else, we recommend that you try diet and nutritional interventions first and see if they work. Try our Eating Program/Diet and order the VAXA products "Attend" and "Extress".
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