How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported?
Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse victims never report the crime or get help in coming to grips with this life-changing trauma. They move into adulthood with a broken heart and low self esteem. Much misbehavior and acting out can be traced to an incident which occurred which left the child feeling confused, betrayed and angry.
In an attempt to cope with the confusing reality of what has happened to them, many children develop survival skills or behaviors that will help them to cover up what they are really feeling. Families, friends and society sometimes see and judge the problem behavior when it is actually a symptom of the internal pain which has never been addressed.
The number of reports is rising each year due to mandatory reporting laws, better public education and greater public awareness of the problem. Over the last 30 years many key developments in law enforcement have made it easier to deal with victims and their families with greater understanding, making it easier for them to come forward and ask for help.
In the Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, they found that of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse-not even a friend or sibling. If indeed, sexual abuse happens to one in four children, yet only 1.8 cases are reported per 1,000 children you have to wonder why.
The most common reasons given by victims for not reporting these crimes to authorities:
1. They feel no one will believe them, as the perpetrator has told them repeatedly.
2. They are so consumed with self-blame and shame that it happened to them.
3. A parent or another adult believes them, but doesn't want to involve outside parties. They feel it is a private matter and they will just keep the child away from the individual who was hurting them, so as not to disturb the family unit or community.
4. The child or the family is afraid of reprisal from the assailant.
There is always hope and assistance for recovery:
Even if your child or you made a decision to not report it at the time abuse happened, please check out the resources in back of my book: Aware, Assertative but Not Afraid-Protecting Your Children From Sex Abuse and Finding Help if It Has Occurred. I have included almost 100 resources for help. There are so many different methods and techniques to help you heal and gain greater understanding of what has happened to you or your child. No one deserves to suffer from painful memories. Healing is possible no matter how long ago the abuse took place. There is help, guidance and tools available to assist both victims and perpetrators overcome painful pasts and look forward to a future full of hope and promise.
Every state has a child-protection agency that is responsible for investigating sexual-abuse complaints. Any incident, or suspected incident, should be reported to this agency and to the police. Go with the child and then refrain from talking about the incident in front of people who really don't need to know. When you report it to the police, ask for an officer trained in dealing with children and ask for a private place to discuss the situation. Children are usually a little bit more open with someone who does not remind them of the perpetrator. Stay with your child and support him/her as they answer questions.
What should a parent do:
Tell them again and again, that they are not at fault. Reiterate that it is the job of adults to protect children, not hurt them. Reassure them that you believe them and will support their efforts and those of the police in seeing this never happens to another child. Most offenders molest more than one child; especially in cases of incest. Breaking the silence and reporting the perpetrator to the authorities or a trusted adult will protect other children. Be sure to tell your child it takes courage to speak out when things are wrong, and you are proud of them for stepping forward.
© Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator and PBS Consultant - www.ArtichokePress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight?
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain a time past when kids actually asked to borrow the family car for the evening. Heck, I even recall myself uttering that request to my folks many times.
Plane Trip with Kids
Though you can cover even very long distances by car if you have the guts to, as soon as it comes to crossing water, you'll have to stick to a plane. The equation is the same as usual: limited space + long time of inactivity = whiny, annoying children.
Let Kids Help
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what they are eating, is to have them help. A great way to start is to let them make up their lunch for the next day.
Picky Eaters - The Dawn of Understanding
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television." (Erma Bombeck, 1927-1996)Once upon a time not so very long ago, you probably envisioned that your children would be good, healthy eaters while growing up.
Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember...
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece of bubble gum stuck to a safety pin; a pink chewed mass mistakenly rescued from the trash years before. However, to its owner, this cherished keepsake is a bejeweled treasure-still worn with extreme pride.
Ten Tips to Stimulate Your Newborns Senses
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a baby uses her senses in the early months of life is crucial to future development. A baby, whose senses are stimulated develop a sharper memory, inquisitiveness and a better concentration.
Watch Your Language! - How Parents Can Help Kids Help Themselves
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom - then it all went wrong!'No, this wasn't a teacher talking! It was a high school student on the day of an important exam.She needed a good grade in a particular subject to qualify for a place at college, so she had worked hard and psyched herself up for success.
The Secret, Unconscious Game Children and Parents Play Where No One Wins!
Did you know there's a game children and parents play all the time and yet, neither of them knows about it? This article discusses this unconscious, no-win game children play with their unknowing parents; how points get scored; why the game isn't a good thing to play, and how parents can stop the game.I wish I could tell you the name of the game.
Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting them at high risk for traffic accidents. A series of five research papers published in a September 2002 supplement of Injury Prevention addresses reducing this risk.
Treatment Options for ADHD
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very effective in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder symptoms. Although it has potential side-effects which many families would like to avoid, we have seen it help a lot of people.
Picky Eaters - Successful Strategies Part 1
What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of Victoria, Texas said that her son was a very picky eater between the ages of four and six and refused to eat many of the dishes she made, until she discovered the art of renaming recipes.
How Do Campers Protect Their Children?
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize that he is not where he is supposed to be-where you told him to stay! Little kids, and even older ones, just don't behave like they used to. Has anyone noticed that?Since corporeal punishment of children has departed the scene, parents are left with the ominous job of establishing rules for their kids to follow using verbal communication techniques, as apposed to grandpa's "back-of-the-hand" coersion.
Your Big Yellow Bus
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road again. The neighborhood kids seem happy.
The Great Baby Name Debate
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose for your child will last a lifetime. Whether you're looking for something original that will stand out from the crowd or a traditional name that people will instantly recognize, choosing a name for your new baby is a huge responsibility.
Parenting Your Teenager: Self-Decorating or Self-Harm - How to Tell the Difference
Q. I need your help with a question about my teen-age daughter.
How Do You Find the Best Car Seat to Protect Your Child
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is a prime consideration for any new parent. To give your child the best chance of escaping injury in the event of a collision, you'll need to a car seat suited to your child's age and weight.
Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in public schools, but for what seems like 100 years, I did. During my long career, I did the best I knew how to do at the time, based on where I was in life, and what I had learned about teaching.
Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More!
Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a Wildlife Centre in Central Scotland. It was near the end of the day and they were in the Gift Shop before boarding the bus for the journey home.
Here we will come to know who are the most responsible person to make your child an addicted person & failure.In general we see kids who are addicted of tobacco , drinking, smoking, etc.
Mom, Dad and the Big Brother
Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied right. Millions of parents in the USA alone do check their kids' online behavior.
|home | site map|