I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"
Whether parent or teacher, we have all "been there" and "done that" with a child exhibiting refusal behaviors. Before "losing your cool" and your power as well, interventions and strategies are provided for use to help deescalate this classic power struggle.
-Avoid placing yourself in a stand-off situation with the child.
-Don't "mark a line in the sand" unless prepared to follow through with the consequences on your own. Creating a demand situation?."You will sit in your seat or I will call someone to seat you"?.will cause the authority figure to lose his/her power. This is a main goal of oppositional children?personal control over their environment.
-Under a demand situation, especially with authority figures, an oppositional child will be more likely to escalate to extreme opposition. Stop talking. Give the child a chance to detach from the situation with some power. Problem-solving the situation when both parties are calm will prove more productive.
-Phrase requests which are more likely to bring an oppositional response with a negative statement?"I don't expect you would want to?." Or "You probably wouldn't want to?.."
-Create a situation where it is more worth the child's while to be part of.
-Give choices which give the student some control.
-Give the student a specific leadership role during stressful transitions, such as day care dismissal. Monitoring younger children for appropriate dismissal behavior, such as sitting quietly, would be an example of a specific leadership role.
These children can be extremely challenging. Should a pattern of continuing emotionality become evident, additional advice from professionals, such as the child's pediatrician or a school guidance counselor, would be recommended in order to develop a positive behavior support system to help ensure behavioral success.
Sheree S. Marty has worked with elementary school children as a school counselor for the past nine years. A physical education teacher for thirteen years, Ms. Marty earned her Master degree in Counseling in 2000. Ms. Marty is the author and owner of "Chinese Jump Rope", a childrens games book and website. For more information, visit http://chinesejumprope.tripod.com
How to Assist Troubled Teens
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet child went and who the angry and rebellious child is that took his or her place. After all, adolescence is a time of change.
Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids
There are millions of young children in this country who are being terribly mistreated by their parents.These parents aren't physically abusing their young children, and they may not even know that they're mistreating them.
Andy Griffith Show Family Lessons
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of folks today, the old Andy Griffith Show really did have a lot of common sense family values that we could learn from today.Take for instance the episode "Bailey's Bad Boy" that guest starred Bill Bixby as a spoiled rich teenager who wanted his rich dad to bail him out of jail once he got in trouble in Mayberry.
Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask "What's wrong?".
Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused about what they have a right to know about their teens.The question I often get goes something like this:"We want to know where our 16-year-old son is going to be, and who he is with.
Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children is "they don't listen to me and I have tried everything"Then when you start talking, you find out that parents give in at the end because it is just too exhausting to be consistent.For example--you want your child to go to bed at a certain time.
Defrazzle with Hug Therapy
"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug"UnknownSometimes life gets so hectic that our nerves are frazzled, our tempers are short, and we feel totally disconnected from those that are important to us.Want to know a simple way to fix that? Reach out and hug someone.
Strong-willed Kids: Raising a Spirited Child
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference for parents when their children's behaviour worries them. This point was evident recently when I was involved in a minor disagreement with one of my daughters.
How Many Sex Offenders Live On Your Block?
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives on the same block, can be a chilling discovery. The thought of it alone, can be disturbing.
So, The Thing Is... Im Feeling A Little Guilty
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I know, I know, what's new? I'm like the travel agent for guilt trips.
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with a blank page? Have you ever wondered why some children just seem to detest anything to do with writing? Have you seem them just give up in frustration and walk away angry and distraught? Well you are not alone. Every one possesses the capability to write stories, plays, poems or journal writings.
Facing the Homeschool Super Mom
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus she tutors several other children that are dropped off at her house.
Finding A Caregiver You Can Trust
Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one of the most important decisions you will make. When hiring a caregiver or nanny for your child, there are several important steps you need to take to minimize potential risks of hiring someone who will not be a good fit for your child and family.
Theres a Lollipop on Your Bottom (and Other Terms of Endearment)
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been starting with that little whine that babies adopt to alert mothers and sisters that their new crawling tricks have them wedged behind the furniture.
Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents believe their children should be doing something more productive than merely having fun.
Adderall and Its Side-Effects
Adderall is a stimulant medication used in the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in both children and adults. It is made from a combination of four amphetamine compounds.
Empty Nest Syndrome
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and Paula was struggling with a deep inner emptiness. While she knew this day was coming, she was not really prepared for the intense hollowness that welled up within.
Americas Public schools --- Deteriorating Like They Did In Ancient Rome
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education system similar to ancient Athens. It was voluntary and parents paid tutors or schools directly.
Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first bell of the year will ring and the sounds of summer will be replaced by the voices of school-aged children bemoaning the end of their summer and trying to sort out their new school routines: What building am I in? Who's my teacher this year? Do I really have to take calculus?For most children, going back to school signifies a move from the lazy, hazy days of summer to a regimented school routine and poses unique challenges that must be overcome.
How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around us, due to intolerance, and many of us blame it on somebody else. Parents teach their children, all the time, and when one of us displays "road rage," while our child is in the car, we teach a brand new skill set.
|home | site map|