Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques out there. Many of them are widely used and treated as the gospel. But if you want to be an effective father, you can skip most of them and concentrate on common sense rules that have always worked. They won't always make you the most popular Dad, but they'll always be effective:
Rule #1 Expect a Great Deal From Your Kids
If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they'll rise to the occasion. Everything from saying please and thank-you, to efforts in school or on the athletic field. If expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere, your kids will know you think a lot of them. And when they know this, they'll respond.
Rule #2 Always Be Willing To Be Part of the Problem
When you're convinced that someone in your family is causing the problems and you're blaming them for it, you better realize that this problem won't get better until you accept that you're making it worse by blaming. It may feel good to blame, but it never improves anything. Only love and acceptance will make a positive difference.
Rule #3 Know Your Child's Life Intimately
It's sad to see how many fathers know the stock market more intimately than their own child. Get to know all you can about your kids. Know what their favorite toys and colors are, who their best friends are, who their heroes are, etc. By showing interest, you're showing you love them. By not asking, you show that they're not that important to you.
Rule #4 Say "No" to Your Kids
There's an awful lot of stuff out there for kids these days...and of course they want to have it all. Kids who get almost everything they want typically aren't very happy kids. Kids learn discipline, self-control, and how to delay gratification when they're told no by their parents. It may be a difficult struggle, but saying no and meaning it will help you to have happy, healthy, and cooperative kids.
Rule #5 Hitting or Spanking Your Kids Doesn't Work
There are plenty of studies showing that kids who are spanked have lower self-esteem. Spanking your kids will also be likely to increase the very kinds of behaviors that you're spanking them for. As a father, do you really want your child to be afraid of you?
Rule #6 Treat Your Partner Extremely Well
This is where your kids get their most important information about relationships between their parents. Make a great effort not to fight in front of the kids. Remember to be kind more often than trying to be right.
Rule #7 Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Many parents spend time threatening their children when their kids aren't cooperating. But if you don't follow through on the consequences, you can threaten till the cows come home. Your children will learn to ignore the threats. They will understand action. If certain privileges are taken away because of their lack of cooperation, they'll learn very quickly that you mean business. Try your best to align the consequences with the action. ( "If you don't clean your room in time, you won't have time for stories before bed.")
Rule #8 Really Listen to Your Kids
Don't just hear their words, but learn to understand the meaning behind what they say as well. "I'm picking my own clothes!" might mean that your child wants more responsibility or independence. Be able to reflect back what your child says to you. If you want your child to listen to you, you absolutely must listen to her/him.
Rule #9 Give Your Kids Responsibility as They Grow Older
When your kids are very young, perhaps they just help make their beds in the morning and keep their rooms clean. As they get older, add things to their list. Tell them that this is how a family works?everybody has certain things that they do. If you do it when they're young, it's more likely they'll do it when they're older. Don't reward them for things that should be expected of them.
Rule #10 Tell Your Kids They're Great All the Time
It's especially important to tell them this when they're not at their best. It's easy to tell them when things are going well! Make it a point to tell them specifically what you think is great about them. This will be more meaningful than generalized praise.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at email@example.com.
How to Help Your Child be Successful in Kindergarten
Your child's first year of school should be a fun and exciting time. Children who are comfortable with and prepared for this first school experience are more likely to have rewarding and productive years, and therefore associate positive feelings with education.
The Free Ride In Public Schools
To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many public schools today automatically advance failing students to the next grade level. In other schools, some students are left back a maximum of one year, then promoted again regardless of their academic skills.
Parenting Your Teenager: Responding to a Poor Progress Report in School
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it looks as if no matter how hard she works she'll get all C's and D's, when she had been getting A's and B's.
How to Stop Bad Behavior Before it Starts
Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any other aspect of parenting, can cause stress, family disfunction, and a general loss of harmony in your home. Over time, negative behavior cycles can become ingrained in a family's way of interacting with each other 1.
Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children is the best way to ensure that they live a happy, successful, and responsible life as an adult. Here are ten ways to help your kids attain a high degree of emotional intelligence:1.
Marriage, Divorce, and Kids
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this country?It's been said that one of the reasons for the high rate of divorce in this country is the manner in which men choose their wives. Specifically, they choose their wives in a fashion similar to how they choose their next car.
Advocating for Your Child with LD
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does it mean to you? Advocating happens when you speak on behalf of someone else.
10 Steps to School Year Success
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring that your child gets a good education. School is a place where your child not only learns skills such as reading and writing; it is also where your child will learn about friendship, responsibility, and fairness.
Every week I write something about the stock market - how to, when to and where to put your money and how to protect it from loss if you do. This week I want to say something very important to the young folks about success.
ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part two
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed to me by a member of our church.
Preventing Obesity in Young Children
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating habits are out of control? Need some real world help with 'taming the cookie monster'? Here are some things that worked for our family.Our daughter, now 14 years old, was plump from birth and thrived happily for her first year on a combination of breast milk and formula.
EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder the subject learns to pay attention to his own brain wave activity, and then apparently learns to change and control his brain wave activity. The subject is given immediate feedback on just what his brain's activity is like at any given moment through the use of high-speed computers which provide both auditory and visual feedback.
Healthy Eating For Children: Six Simple Rules
Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should be nutritious. Children can be picky and inconsistent, so make sure that what they do eat is really good for them.
10 Tips for Making Daily Physical Activity Part of Your Childs Life!
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty percent of children ages 5 to 8 show at least one heart disease risk factor, including hypertension and obesity, which among children has doubled over the past two decades.? The first signs of arteriosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) are appearing at age 5 - something never before seen in anyone under the age of 30.
Tips For a First-Time Dad
So you're going to become a father. Now is not the time to panic.
How to Foster a Love of Reading and Writing in Your Child
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When reading and wiring are a regular part of your family's life, you send your child the message that they are enjoyable, valuable and great ways to learn.
Parenting: The Road I Chose
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter my living room floor on a constant basis, just seems to be part of the game of parenting. I realize it doesn't have to be that way.
Spending Time With Your Child
Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children to get any sense that they are loved and wanted, you have to be prepared to spend some time with them. I know you are all thinking, so tell me something I don't know.
They Call it Puppy Love
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the other day from school and stated that he had two girlfriends.
Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to you when you wanted them to? This is one of the most common issues that parents bring to me seeking help and support. Parents tell me that instead of listening to them, their kids sometimes ignore them, walk away, don't do what they are told, laugh at them, turn up the radio or TV, talk back to them or give them the silent treatment.
|home | site map|