![]() | |
![]() | |
![]() |
Parenting |
![]() |
Family Meetings Are Now On The Agenda
"Not another meeting!" That tends to be the reaction from many parents when they hear the M word mentioned. Parents tend to associate meetings with the workplace rather than families. Even at work, meetings tend to be tolerated rather than keenly anticipated. My research and my anecdotal evidence suggest that families that have a process to share decisions and to resolve conflict have more cooperative kids and less open sibling disputes. To be truthful, I stopped talking about family meetings in my presentations some years ago as people's eyes tended to glaze over when I mentioned the M word. But I am now 'talking up' the concept as many parents I have worked with in the past have remarked how useful they were in turning their families around from Me-centred to We-centred groups. Family meetings are a useful way of unifying a family and developing a shared approach to its organization. They are based on the management principle that children like a say in how their family operates and that they are more likely to stick to rules and decisions that they have had a say in making rather than those imposed from above. In many ways, this is stating the bleeding obvious but we need a process to make this happen. That is where family meetings come in. Following are ten basic keys for conducting family meetings: 1. They must be regular. Weekly or fortnightly meetings are ideal. If a parent calls a meeting when he or she wants then meetings just become a vehicle for mum or dad to get their point across rather than a means for children to participate in family-life. 2. Start when at least one child is five years of age. Children need the verbal and cognitive skills to participate. This varies but maybe around five years of age seems to be a good age to start. 3. Have an agenda. All good meetings need a chairperson and an agenda. Meetings are usually for one or more of four purposes: a) Plan for family fun 4. Avoid overloading the agenda. You don't have to slavishly work through all these areas. Two or three items may be enough and avoid the meeting from becoming a whinge session. 5. Have a talk sock. Have an object such as a sock or doll that the children must hold if they are going to speak, which teaches them how to take turns. The speaker, whether adult or child, must be holding the special talk sock. 6. Start each meeting with encouragement. Parents can model this initially by saying things like, "Thanks Marta for cleaning your toys away after playing with them this week. It was great have the family room so clean." This helps set a positive tone and teaches kids how to encourage. 7. Finish with a pleasant activity. A concluding game or a story will help reinforce a meeting as an event to anticipate. 8. They must be real. While meetings should be fun they are not a game you play with kids. You must be able to live with decisions that are made so you must be realistic about what is discussed and decided upon. 9. Short and sharp, not long and dull. Don't allow them to become bogged down. Keep moving them along. I know some meetings that have only gone for eight or nine minutes, but that's fine if objectives were met. 10. It is the process that is important. Sometimes meetings break down and decisions aren't made as they have descended into chaos. That happens but don't abandon the concept if nothing concrete comes of a meeting or two. It is the process of meeting and talking rather than the outcomes that are important. Regular family meetings are a powerful means of improving relationships and building cooperation between parents and children. They provide the means for children to share and accept responsibility, participate fully in family-life and work cooperatively for the benefit of the group - their family. Michael Grose http://www.parentingideas.com.au Michael Grose is Australia's leading parent educator. The author of six books for parents, Michael gives over 100 presentations a year to parents in the corporate, community and education sectors. His website http://www.parentingideas.com.au is full of fresh ideas to help parents raise happy kids and resilient teenagers.
MORE RESOURCES: |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
RELATED ARTICLES
THE NEW SCHOOL VISIT: 5 Things to Look For Today the little red school house is not what it use to be, and along with changes in how our schools are funded, how they are governed, how teachers teach and how children learn, it's no surprise that many large urban school districts and smaller rural ones are undergoing major modifications. Parents are bombarded with advice from every media venue telling them to look at private education, consider a religious environment, and reminding them that "choice" or charter schools are the way to go. 10 Signs That Your Teen Is Using Drugs Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17 report that obtaining marijuana is "easy or fairly easy?" Or that 25% of youths between 12 and 17 say the same of crack?When children start using drugs they usually exhibit many different signs that parents need to watch out for. Unfortunately, many parents often write-off these signs as normal adolescent behavior and as a result they don't realize that their child is into drugs until it is too late. Revering the Crayon Marks "Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. You Goofed? Hip, Hip, Hooray! Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it takes most kids years to find their strengths; if they don't try everything that comes their way --from kickball to spelling bees-- how will they discover their passions?One thing that parents can model is to value 'effort' and 'risk'. Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...) I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men by being the mommy of a little boy.. How To Be Your Childs Sex Educator The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about who should hold the responsibility of educating young people about sex and sexuality. On one side of the spectrum there are those who believe that parents and only parents should be teaching such sensitive and value-fill information to kids. You Want Whaaat??? Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with a very special request.. How to Take Charge of the TV Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it. Keep in mind, though, that young children often imitate what they see, good or bad. Breastfeeding, Its My Right My name is Duncan and I'm 2 years old. I want to thank my Mommy and Daddy for choosing breastmilk as my only food for my first six months. Hiking with Children There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The thrill of introducing these young ones to the wonder of nature is matched only by their eyes as they take it all in. Top 10 Ways to Motivate Your Student As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal role in their child's success. Here are 10 tips for motivating your student from GoalSettingforStudents. PG Rating Isnt What It Used To Be If there are any parents reading this who are thinking of taking their under-10 year olds to see the PG rated Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, please read the following from a ScreenIt.com review:Rated PG, the film contains a handful of mild expletives; some non-explicit, but sexually related dialogue; one teen who sexually pursues her soccer coach nonstop until he finally can't resist anymore and they apparently have sex (off-camera, after some making out, and she feels empty afterwards). Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider themselves artistic. Parents do, however, worry about their toddler's art abilities. Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than pessimists.Helping your child look on the bright side is a significant life skill to develop. How To Teach Your Children Social Skills As our children grow, they will be going to schools and interacting with lots of different people other. For example, friends and teachers. Tips for Keeping Packed Lunches Fun and Interesting ? Let the child choose his or her own lunch box or reusable lunch bag. Encourage the child to add decorations, too. What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. "Yes," one piped up almost immediately, "discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouth know-it-all! I don't want to spank, and don't, but he seems to laugh at time out, privilage loss, etc. Getting through the School Daze It's back to school time again. Does the thought of having to get everyone organized and out the door make you want to send for boarding school brochures? Here are a few tips to help get through that back to school daze. If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parents Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes school. For a fourthgrader, this does not sound right. Intermission: Wood Chips I wanted to share with you one of the most valuable lessons my daughter taught me when she was sixteen-months-old. I call this essay, "Cherish Your Wood Chips. ![]() |
home | site map |
© 2011 |