Teenagers and Trouble - How Parents Can Keep their Teens Out of Trouble
Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky business. Many kids get into some kind of trouble at some point, and, although this can provide them a powerful learning opportunity, taking a "kids will be kids" attitude is downright irresponsible parenting. Good parenting requires us to remember that, even if they look fully grown, they are not. Teenager issues abound, and parents need to be aware of all we can do to keep our teenagers on the straight and narrow. Here are some tips to help you because what you do can make all the difference.
1.) The "basics" count more than anything else. Let your teen know that s/he is loved unconditionally, and s/he won't want to let you down. Not wanting to disappoint parents really is a big deterrent for teenagers.
2.) Let your teenager know what you expect of him. Be specific. Let him know where the boundaries are firm, and where there is room for negotiation. Share your values. Be clear in your communication so there is no room for confusion.
3.) Invest in your relationship. Spend time together having fun. Listen to your teen's thoughts, goals, fears and questions. Show her that you care about what she says, thinks and feels.
4.) Encourage him to develop healthy outside interests. Sports are wonderful, as is participating in music and theatre, clubs?almost any other such activity. Not only does this keep your teenager busy in a productive way, it helps to build his self-esteem. And a healthy sense of self-esteem can keep kids from getting into trouble.
5.) Help your teenager develop responsibilities. A teen with responsibilities will be more mature, more reliable, and have a higher self-esteem than one without responsibility.
6.) Look in the mirror and practice saying "no." You'll know if this applies to you; if you have trouble saying "no," practice. It is a parent's job to say it sometimes; and it may be the most important to do so when it's the hardest, so get prepared.
7.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen and don't be afraid to pick up the phone and [tactfully] verify what s/he's telling you. (see next item) Be plugged in to what's going on in your teen's life. Get your teen used to the fact that you know other parents, and that you will be in touch with them.
8.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen's friends' parents. Probe. Find out if there really is going to be supervision to your satisfaction. Not all parents are as vigilant as others. Offer to help supervise. Offer to send food. Keep it friendly, but be clear.
9.) Be smart about cell phone and internet use. Cell phones can be your friend and help you and your teen stay in touch, but they can also be abused. Teens have been known to be places other than where they say they are, and if the cell phone is the only method of contact, parents can be caught unawares. Have a good sense of what your teen is doing on the internet and consider using some of the blocking methods available.
10. Know the facts about drug and alcohol use and abuse. Your teen needs you to be knowledgeable, otherwise you are unable to help her in this area. Know what is common in your kid's school. Know what the signs are of use and abuse. Do not stick your head in the sand. Be vigilant, informed and smart.
11. Teenagers feel emotions twice as intensely as adults, and this is a developmental fact. Intense emotional responses can impact their behavior, and so parents need to encourage teens to have appropriate outlets for emotional tension. Physical activity is particularly effective.
12. Expect to give up your weekend. Not all the time?but you may not actually have the freedom that you envisioned when they were little. You need to be attentive to keep them safe, and you need to be around and available.
13. Earn your teenager's respect by your good, honorable, ethical and respectable behavior. Your teenager has been learning about adult behavior from you, and she is likely to behave like you. Better give her a great example!
Parents have tremendous influence?don't underestimate the importance of your behavior, because what you do counts - a lot!
Copyright 2005 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child's Middle School Years . She offers resources, information and tips for parents of teenagers and those who work with them. She provides an effective guide for parents and professionals who want to create a parenting discussion group. Visit http://www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com
The Twenty-First Century Parent
John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large company. He's married and has 3 children, ages 7, 9, and 12.
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die in this country of too much food than of too little. It's an appalling notion - but an accurate one.
A Mothers Love
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose golden feathers and sweet voice attracted attention where ever she went. She was not only beautiful but also extremely intelligent and talented and she longed to leave the nest and try her wings out in the big world.
Say No to Mealtime Mayhem: Eating Out With Your Baby or Toddler
Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children. Their short attention span and need to be involved in everything will mean a nightmare for you, they say.
CAMP INJURIES- 7 Things You Must Know
WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:The call you never want to hear is made to your home?"Your son was injured in the dining room?he fell through a window?" "Your daughter was burned with hot coffee in the dining area?" "Your child was hit in the head with a baseball?" "Some kids were horsing around and your son broke his leg?"Where do you turn? What do you do? Here's a checklist of what you need to do immediately:1. Find out exactly where your child is now.
What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?
We adopted our first child when he was three months old. When we went to the agency to get him, he promptly stood up on my wife's lap and looked out the window.
Renee's Mommy is Here
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out of my car at the baby-sitter's house and a little boy comes running out the door.
Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!
This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances in education, many kids still struggle in the math class.
An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant medications for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder if possible, a growing need for the development of alternative treatments for ADD ADHD has developed over the past twenty years. Although there are many products that claim to help any child with ADD ADHD, the truth is that there are only a few non-medication treatments for attention deficit disorder that have actually undergone even the simplest of clinical trials.
The Family Guy - Parenting From a Single Dads Perspective
It was a hot summer day in august and The courthouse was without cold air. I wiped my brow as I entered the crowded courtroom.
Jammin with Your Kids: The Wonderful World of Music
Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer became quite clear to me and my husband as we observed how our own child responded to complex melodies and varied musical styles in the first months of her life.When I embarked on the recording of my children's music CD ("Wake Up & Go To Sleep", Artsong Music) shortly after my daughter was born, it didn't occur to me to create a happy little watered down collection of songs made just for young listeners.
How Do I Get My Child to Read?
Well first off, please to don't institute the ½ hour of mandatory reading that so many schools and parents are so keen on these days. You want to encourage a life-long love of reading and frankly you would be much more likely to succeed by banning reading in your house then by turning reading into yet another chore that needs to be done.
Will My Doubts and Fears Affect My Child?
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father is concerned about his son, a high school athlete with a vision of playing professional sports. The father's fear is that his son won't be accepted into the 'right' college to be scouted by the professionals.
Send the Kids Outside!
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of your fondest memories are of outdoor activities and places.
When A Parent Is Deployed
When a parent is deployed with the military it can be very traumatic for the children left behind. Having things for them to do, that makes them feel a part of the family and helping the parent who is gone, is really important.
Top 25 Children Quotations
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
Choosing Wooden Toys For Children
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the huge number of toys made of plastic and other synthetic materials that you can find in all toy stores.In addition, most children's wooden toys are handcrafted.
The ADD Child: Challenging Parents, Teachers and Friends
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are common in most children. Most children misbehave, act silly and day dream.
Healthy Eating For Children: Six Simple Rules
Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should be nutritious. Children can be picky and inconsistent, so make sure that what they do eat is really good for them.
Top 10 Things To Never Believe From Your Teenager
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just keeping it for someone else.
|home | site map|